“Is Gretchen home yet?” came the voice on the other end.
Benjy rolled his eyes. “There’s no Gretchen here. This is ‘Kidsview.’ Please check the number you’re dialing.”
“Could I leave a message for her?”
“No!” Benjy exploded, and hung up. “And here’s question four. ‘What is the speed of light?’”
In the control room Winston Churchill gobbled up the last of the birdseed and looked around for more.
Ellen-Louise smiled into the cage. “Now how about a little sentence for that wonderful dinner, Winston? Say ‘Pretty bird, pretty bird, pretty bird.’”
Mark was still concentrating on the quiz. “You’re wasting your time, Ellen. That bird’s too stupid to talk.”
“He’s not stupid,” Ellen said defensively. “He’s just shy. Here, I’ve brought some more birdseed, Winston.” She opened a second box.
“If you feed him any more, he’ll start hiccupping again,” warned Murph. He scratched his forehead. “Hey, this quiz is going really well. The switchboard is all lit up.”
“186,282 miles per second!” exclaimed Mark, writing the answer down on his homework sheet. “That’s four. We’re almost half done.”
“Pretty bird, cutie bird, sweetie bird,” Ellen was pushing more birdseed into the cage.
“Ellen, you’re making me sick!” roared Mark. “All the birdseed in the universe isn’t going to make any difference. This parrot is never going to talk, because this parrot is a rip-off!”
A loud squawk came from the cage, and Winston Churchill turned away from his feast. His eyes bulged, his beak wobbled, and he announced, “This parrot is a rip-off!”
Ellen-Louise hit the ceiling. “He talked! He talked! Oh, pretty bird! Clever bird!”
Mark was aghast. “Stupid bird! Sure he talked, but listen to what he said! Benjy’s going to have a heart attack!”
From Radio Fifth Grade. Copyright © 1989 by Gordon Korman. All rights reserved.
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