A Sample Chapter from
P.S. Longer Letter Later
November 4, 10:06 P.M.
Dear Tara*Starr,
This is a whisper letter. If I were actually talking, I would have to whisper, since it's after ten o'clock at night and I'm supposed to be asleep. (My parents always know where I am at ten o'clock. I'm in bed.) So I'm writing this under the covers, with a flashlight, and I feel like I'm whispering to you. Thank you so, so, so much for calling tonight.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!! And please thank Barb again for me, okay? I can't believe you guys called as soon as you read my letter. I know the call was expensive, and I'm pretty sure you had to give some of your own money to Barb to help pay for it. You know what? I'm going to pay you back. Is it okay to send cash through the mail? I'm not going to mail you coins, I'll just fold some bills into my next letter. I better not do it in this letter. Mom is still upset, and I don't want her to get suspicious of anything right now.
Tara, do you know how good it felt to talk to you and Barb about what's going on with my parents? I've been feeling so lonely. And so alone. I feel like I don't have my family anymore, except for Emma. My parents are lost, at least to me. (There's always been a distance between my father and me, but now there's one between my mother and me too.) And I keep worrying about Emma. All this stuff is too big for me.
I've really been thinking about what Barb said. That I should go to my guidance counselor. But I'm not sure. You know how mom feels about keeping things in the family.
Well, now I guess I better tell you what happened after Mom came into the kitchen and caught me on the phone with you and Barb. First of all, you should know that she wasn't upset because I was talking to you. (You know my mom likes you. And my father doesn't dislike you that much.) Mom was upset because she heard me telling you what she considers private family business. She believes that family business should stay in the family. That's the guidance counselor problem. She was also upset because it was after dinner and Dad hadn't come home yet, so we'd eaten without him.
So guess what I did after Mom made me get off the phone. I don't think you'll believe this, but I asked Mom if she and Dad are getting a divorce. I mean, I just asked her straight out. I said, "Mom, are you and Dad getting a divorce?" I was really proud of myself for asking, but the result was kind of disappointing.
Mom said, "No, that's not what's going on."
So I said, "Is Dad having an affair?"
And here Mom got really upset. She said, "That sounds like something Tara would say." And then she cried.
So then I said, "Mom, please. Just tell me what's going on. Please."
And Mom sighed. "It's between grown-ups."
At least I asked.
I can hear footsteps in the hallway now, so I better end this letter and turn off the flashlight before I get caught.
I think maybe Dad just came home.
Love,
Elizabeth.
P.S. Thank you again for calling. It was so great to talk to you in person. I really miss you, Tara. (Barb too.) You're my best friend and always will be.
P.P.S. You know what makes me happy? We started a poetry unit in English, and we're writing our own poetry. Even when I'm feeling my saddest, just thinking about my poems makes me feel better.
November 4, 10:10 P.M.
Dear Eliza*Beth,
I'm writing this immediately after your mom made you get off the phone.
Yikes...I feel so bad for you.
I can't believe that I used to think your life was so easy.
Now your life seems like a nightmare!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better.
When we hung up, I cried. Did you?
Barb hugged me.
I wish I could have hugged you too.
Now I'm in my room, writing to you, using the special pen you gave me as a going-away present.
Oops - Barb's just come in to remind me that I've got to finish up my homework now so that my grades are good enough to be in the play...Plus, I've got to get to school early tomorrow to meet with some of the kids and rehearse. Let me know what's happening. I'm so worried about what's going on at your house.
Love,
Tara*Starr
P.S. Luke just came into my room to make sure that I was doing my homework. (Do you believe how my parents are finally acting so grown-up and parently?) Anyway, he sends his love and hopes that things get better for you real soon.
P.P.S. I hope you don't mind that I'm talking about how parently my parents are becoming while yours are falling to pieces. It's all so weird, isn't it?
November 8
DEAR ELIZA*BETH,
I JUST READ YOUR "WHISPER" LETTER . . . . . .AND . . . . . . THIS IS A "SHOUT" LETTER!
TO ANSWER YOU:
1. YOU'RE WELCOME ABOUT OUR PHONE CALL. I ONLY WISH THAT MY FAMILY HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO CALL YOU EVERY DAY . . . . EVERY HOUR . . . . EVERY MINUTE.
2. YOUR MOM IS SOOOOOOOO WRONG. (I HOPE THAT YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING THAT, BUT SHE IS . . . . SOOOOOOOO WRONG.) YOU REALLY SHOULD GO TO YOUR GUIDANCE COUNSELOR . . . OR ONE OF THE TEACHERS. (IS THERE ANYONE THERE YOU TRUST?) WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOME OF THE KIDS WE HUNG AROUND WITH LAST YEAR? . . . AT LEAST THAT WAY YOU WOULD HAVE OTHER PLACES TO GO TO, TO GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE SOMETIME. DOESN'T EMMA HAVE SOME FRIENDS THAT SHE CAN HAVE PLAY DATES WITH SO THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH HER ALL THE TIME? YIKES.
3. PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT YOUR FATHER DOESN'T "DISLIKE ME***THAT MUCH***" YOU KNOW HE DOES . . . AND HE DOESN'T LIKE MY PARENTS EITHER. REMEMBER THAT TIME HE KEPT TALKING ABOUT HOW YOUNG MY PARENTS WERE, HOW THEY SHOULD HAVE "WAITED," HOW HE HOPED THAT I WASN'T GOING TO HAVE THE SAME "PROBLEM" THAT THEY HAD . . . YOU KNOW THAT HE DOESN'T APPROVE . . . THAT HE'S FIGURED OUT THAT MY PARENTS GOT MARRIED BECAUSE I WAS "ON THE WAY . . . GOING TO BE BORN." HE MADE IT SOUND LIKE I WAS THE "PROBLEM." SO ANYWAY, YIKES! . . . YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND THAT YOUR FATHER LIKES ME . . . YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TOO MUCH IN YOUR HOUSE.
4. (I've decided to stop "shouting," to go back to regular writing with large and SMALL letters.) I'm glad that you like your poetry unit. I'm glad that something in your life isn't so awful.
Write back fast and let me know what's happening. I'm worried about you.
Love,
Tara*Starr
P.S. You may have noticed that I've started saying "Yikes!" That's what the kids here in the drama group say a lot. They also say "Zounds," so I guess I've started saying that too. I've taught them "Gadzooks." . . . Remember how we always used to say that? Anyway, maybe you would like to start saying "Yikes" and "Zounds" so that you can feel part of this group too . . . You know, Eliza*Beth, some of them are really nice . . . and you'd like them . . . and I know they would like you too.