...I have made my life a bit more comfortable. I have constructed a sort of scoop - what we Andalites consider to be a home...I had only a few things in the scoop. A World Almanac that my friends had given me. A photograph of a delicious cinnamon bun. Some human clothing. And one other thing only recently acquired. One very important other thing that has changed my life. A television...

...I never expected it to be so compelling...It is a window into the human soul. Technologically it is laughable, of course, but when you take into account the stunning array of programs, it rivals the cinnamon bun itself as the finest creation of human society...

...I picked it up. Gray buttons in the shapes of numbers and arrows covered one side...a universal TV remote...I switched on the TV and sat back in the scoop, too far to reach the set. I pointed and pushed the "up" arrow. Images blurred and noises blended together as the remote changed the channels. Marvelous! Much more efficient! I would expend fewer calories per channel changed. When I realized the time I could save...

...TV allows me to observe much more human behavior than I see at the mall. I am still wondering why humans put their mouths together. And why them seem to enjoy it. My first thought was that they were transferring food. But that seems not to be the case...It's called kissing...And the role of lips is self-evident. I simply don't know why it is performed...

...The next day, I performed my morning ritual solemnly...I do find the ritual helpful sometimes. On days when I expect to face danger, for example. But it causes me to miss some of the banter between Katie and Matt and Al...They are the humans who appear on The Today Show...They are taking an in-depth look at exercises to trim the fat from problem areas such as thighs, upper arms, and hips...